I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
soo... how was my night?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
