Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
