Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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