i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
