He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
