did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
