There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
