I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
