He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize