I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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