Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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