i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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