at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
