Is it normal to miss your booty call?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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