all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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