Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
