I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize