Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
