I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
