I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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