how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I need a hoe opinion
go on
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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