He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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