I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
