in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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