just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
