sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
