I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I want her autograph on my taint
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Drake has all the answers
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
