was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
