Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
