things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she looked like the before picture.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
why is half of my head shaved?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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