some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just high enough for therapy.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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