I'm gonna have a badass scar
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Randomize
