she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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