you would pick up someone in the library
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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