Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
