So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
