How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
