you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
