oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
sex in a hospital.. check
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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