it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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