I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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