but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
