i don't plan on having that self control this summer
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize