I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
