Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
