That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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