i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
