I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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