The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
