i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
