no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
