there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
