apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize