another moral hangover. fuck.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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