I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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